The Ydraw Guru — purveyor of nonsense knowledge, convoluted conclusions, wacky wisdom, and wrong-headed reasoning.
Q. Dear Ydraw Guru. What causes muscle cramps? tim
A. Snorkeling…in a wheelchair. Why? It is a simple matter of the scientific principle “form follows function.” Just look at a snorkel and doesn’t it look like a muscle cramp in action? It’s all twisted and makes you clench your teeth and breathe like Darth Vader. As for the wheelchair…I don’t dare say too much for fear of nasty comments from wheelchair manufacturers but the next time you go snorkeling in a wheelchair take notice if you don’t start to feel a big muscle cramp developing in your lungs.
Q. Dear Ydraw Guru: I was happy that Obama won the election but I know a lot of people are angry. Conservatives seem to favor the rich and liberals favor the poor. Isn’t there a way we can all be happy? Ellen.
A. Ellen, you’ve asked a question so easy to answer that it won’t display my powers of logic and reasoning to their fullest. But I suppose even easy questions need answers so here it goes.
It’s true that half of the country is happy right now and half is dismayed, depressed and even angry. But as Obama promised, hope and change are on the way. History and a little educated forecasting by yours truly shows us we are on the right path. You see in 1980 only about 20% of our population needed government assistance and now we’ve progressed to 47% with more progress to come. Here’s how it will work.
It’s really a simple cause and effect equation. As liberals raise taxes on the rich, the rich will layoff more people from their companies which will create more poor people on government assistance which will mean taxes will have to be raised on the rich again and there will be more layoffs and more poor on government assistance. Up to this point conservatives will still be unhappy but then the tide will start turn for them. The rich will not like the high taxes and many will try to escape with their money. The government won’t allow that because then they won’t have anyone to tax and so they will erect a strong fence along all our borders which should make conservatives happy that government will finally be controlling immigration. And conservatives will soon see another favorite program being enacted– the flat tax. To pay for people’s welfare needs the government will have to institute a simple flat tax (of 100%). The few rich people left will finally join the ranks of the poor and all will be equal. And if everyone is equally poor then one could also say everyone is equally rich. This means everyone will be rich which should make conservatives happy and everyone will be poor which should make liberals happy. I challenge anyone to find a flaw in this logic. All we need is a little patience for hope and change to take effect and make everyone happy. It is really as simple as that. Now on to important questions that cause me a little bit of strain.
Q. Why are men so visually stimulated?
A. Men…visually stimulated? Obviously, this question comes from a woman. (I’m a genius when it comes to women) This is a modern-day myth perpetuated by hair salons and beauty cream manufacturers. Think about it. When is the last time a man noticed that the bathroom had just been cleaned, or that you had just put a colorful bouquet of flowers on the table or that the kids were sticking spaghetti sticks up their nose? Have you ever heard your man as you walk in to the neighbor’s house and comment on the beautiful carpet or reply in surprise when you walk through the door, “Honey, you’ve done something new to your hair?” (Unless you just came back from chemotherapy and forgot to put on your wig.) The fact is men have a much higher threshold to overcome to get any visual response jolting through their synapses and registering in their brains. Just as women according to tests have a higher pain threshold which is why they put up with men in the first place.
Q. Why are gas prices so high?
A. It all has to do with inflation of the lower intestines and…oops, that’s another kind of gas. Filtering this through my massive reservoir of useless knowledge I realize now that you are referring to gasoline, the petroleum product. The short answer to your question about high gas prices is— Dentists.
Understanding why though takes a little more research and reasoning. You see oil workers learned that dentists get paid hundreds of dollars for drilling a few millimeters through a hard rocky substance while they are getting paid much less to drill for miles through another hard rocky substance. So the Petroleum Products Union (or the double P. U. as they are fondly referred to) investigated the reason why dentist are able to charge so much more for drilling so much less. The union employed a skilled mathematician who came up with this formula—D x P2 = $$$$. (Where D=dentist and P=-pain.) Therefore, the double P.U. deduced that people will pay a premium for pain. That’s why we now have higher prices called “Pain at the Pump.”
Videos are everywhere and YouTube is launching stars like Justin Bieber and songs like What the Fox Says almost every day, or so it seems, … but they’re probably not for you. Sorry.
Ok, ok, before you begin a rant of why you, your business, or your product deserves a video… let me explain.
I’ve been involved in marketing in one way or another for most of my professional career, 17 years now (yikes), and this has all brought me to this conclusion…. video isn’t for you!
You see, video isn’t for you at all… it’s for your viewer, your customer, your lead, your contact, your fan, etc. It’s not meant for you, so stop being so selfish!!
I had a client the other day who said he wanted a video that would compel the viewer to contact him and buy. Sounds good. Then the client went on to say here’s the script I’ve written, here’s the visuals, here’s the music, and here are all the supporting documents. After I read what was provided I was confused. I didn’t know what the product truly was, what was being offered and more importantly, why I would care in the first place.
So… I asked the client, who’s your customer, your viewer? How familiar are they with you, your product, and what you do? His answer… “They aren’t. This is to attract new customers.” My response was, “I don’t know you, so could I be one of your customers?” His answer, “Yes, of course!”
I hated to shoot down his enthusiasm, because he was very passionate about his business, but I had no idea what he was trying to say in his script. None. There were so many details, so much business jargon, I was lost in a matter of moments… long before his conclusion and call to action. I never got that far. Why? Because the video was all about him, what he knew, what made sense to him, what he wanted, and really had nothing to do with me (the viewer). Which was why I didn’t “get it.”
Trust me. I understand your passion. I understand you have a lot riding on this video. I understand no one knows this stuff or can do it better than you… but that’s why it’s so important that the video isn’t about you. It has to provide value to the viewer, a laugh, something to remember, a reason to contact YOU.
And that’s why video isn’t for you, it HAS to be for them. So before you spend the time, money and resources to create your perfect video, make sure you are not building something that only you will find interesting to watch. Unless that’s what you had planned on all along. And if that’s the case… good luck.
For those of you who have not seen the new interactive video created by VW can I just say WOW! What a great idea. Not only is the video interactive. It also has great music, great images, and a great message.
“Basically, it’s built as one long video and each annotation button is coded to bring you to the coinciding point of another video for a completely seamless playback,” says Yu. If you let the video play without skipping to different genres, three versions of the song will play back-to-back.
“We were all very interested in using the car to make music. It was a very creative and hands-on approach to discovering the various parts of the car that made the right sounds to contribute to the songs,” says Yu. “We felt this was a great opportunity to harness technology and do something creative with it.” -Christina Yu
Why You Should Do An Interactive Video
Interactive videos are just scratching the surface. I can’t wait to see what people come up with in the future. It is not that hard to create an interactive video using YouTube and the impact is amazing. VW interactive video has found a way for people to watch 3 different versions of the same video. If the rest of the population is like me, they will spend about 2 or 3 minutes clicking back and forth just to see the different versions.
How to Create an Interactive Video On YouTube
Basically you get a YouTube video and use the annotations. Obviously you will need to plan ahead and put in the buttons before hand so you can put an annotation around the image. Here is a simple screen shot to show you what I am talking about.
You will need to use the same link to the same video and you set the time to where you want the video to start. That is the simple part. Now if you are wanting the video to go to a certain spot you will need to create an annotation for every second. If you watch the VW video just hover your mouse over one of the links and you will see the seconds changing. These guys built 2 annotations for every 1 to 3 second of their video. Pretty simple right? I think it is well worth the effort and I just want to say that this is amazing. So enjoy your simple guide on how to make an interactive video.
How To Create An Amazing Video: A Perfect Video For Conversion, Attention, and Retention.
Are your viewers doing what you want them to? Are they watching your video, taking action and bringing you more business? When it comes to video marketing you have to be focused more on what is working now. Get ready to learn the science of creating an amazing video.
Have you ever seen advertisements that pop up before a YouTube video plays? Of course you have, but have you have you ever seen a good one? What about the videos that have 5 seconds of disclosures before they even start? Talk about throwing money down the toilet! The agency or company responsible for that ad should be fired … but come to think of it, that happens all the time.
You have 5 seconds to get our attention, if not we click skip as soon as possible and move on with our lives.
They would never admit it but most corporate videos fail to keep the attention of any audience for more then 5 seconds. Ydraw would like to change that so let’s jump into some stats.
Below is one of our highest converting videos created for Yinc (a sister company of Ydraw). The Yinc video is 1:15 seconds in length, it retains 98 percent of the audience for the first 30 seconds and then drops off to 75% by the end of the video. (Watch Here. Yinc Don’t Be That Guy Whiteboard Video)
You MUST get people interested in what you have to say within the first 5 seconds. The Yinc video starts off with some catchy music, a hand drawing and a headline. It’s different than your everyday video and the combination of these 3 things manages to grab the audience and hold them there for the first 30 seconds.
2. Unexpected and Random
Our Yinc sales video is actually a live video we created for our business managers Paige and Haley. This video holds 75% of the audience but we get an amazing spike between 1:00 and 1:15. Why’s that? It’s because we took a quick break to do something random and unexpected. Come on, who swings pink softball bats in their office? (apparently we do).
3. Strong Call to Action
I know we keep harping on the importance of a strong call to action, but it is a must. Applying a simple CTA acts like a remote control to get your readers to get up off the couch and actually do something. It breaks my heart (not really) when I see a million dollar commercial with no call to action. If you want your audience to act… you should ask them. This may not sound like rocket science but I figured it was time I shared all my magical secrets.
So there you have it. Now your job (the reader) is to take these 3 simple steps and apply them to your videos. They work and the proof is in the numbers.
Introducing Yswipe… the new cut out videos created by Ydraw.
These videos are a great way for businesses to market their products, ideas, and to help explain difficult concepts in a simple way. Ydraw had never attempted a video like this before, but after some thought and innovation we are so happy to announce that we now offer these as an option to all of our clients! The Yswipe videos are a new spin on the original whiteboard video and we are obsessed with them!
Let’s check out the stats these videos produce. We ran some tests here at Ydraw and the results are pretty impressive (if we do say so ourselves). In just a short period of time, the page where the video is embedded has been loaded 145 times by 114 people. 91% of these people played the video a total of 122 times, and spent a total of 3.1 hours watching it. On average, each of these viewers watched 86% of the video! Now that…is what we call incredible. We are certain that as the video continues to receive views, the stats of the video will maintain these high percentages and hopefully even increase viewer engagement.
At Ydraw…we are always looking to create and implement new ideas. So, when you see something you want…chances are Ydraw can do it. We love a good challenge and trying new things. So let us know what you think! And be prepared.. we have another awesome Yswipe video coming out in the next few weeks…it will blow your mind! So be smart!..and get the new Yswipe video…the Ydraw version of a typical cut out video.
