New Year Resolutions

New years is the time we all get to sit down and realize how little we accomplished last year and set unrealistic goals for the next, hence the video. Most of us can just copy our goals from last year and we are set for 2013.  It’s a sad reality of the human race, but we can’t let that stop us nor should our failures deter us from actually sitting down and writing some great goals.  You think you are bad take a look at these guys below.

FAT MAN number 1

2009:  I will stop eating junk food and get my weight down to 170 pounds

2010:  Stick to my new diet religiously until I’m at my ideal weight of 190 lbs

2011:  I will develop a better attitude about my weight and accept the fact that I am a little overweight.

2012:  Workout at least 3 times a week

2013:  Look at a gym at least once a week.

FAT MAN number 2 Diary

Sunday:  Today is new years and my favorite daughter got me a personal Trainer to the most expensive gym in town. To bad I had to pay for it, but nonetheless it was a great gift.  I have been meaning to loose weight for 4 years now and I think this is finally going to be the year.

Monday:  My workout began at 5:30 and I have to admit.  My personal trainer is smoking hot. If that is not enough to motivate me, I do not know what will.  Her name is Jessica Alexandra.  She was so inspiring the way she explain all the moving parts of the different machines.   I got a work out just from trying to suck my gut in the whole time I was with her.  This is going to be the best month ever and I can’t wait to get started.

Tuesday:   My amazing trainer really knows how to push me.  We started of with torturous exercise called burpys. I really shouldn’t have eaten all the junk food this morning before our workout.  Today was all about pushing myself beyond my limits I showed Jessica that I am willing to change. Her smile gave me the impression that I may be her best client yet.  You should have seen me on the stepper things.  I was outpacing everyone.   They’re all Amateurs.

Wednesday: For some reason by body is pretty achy. Ok lets be honest I could hardly pick up my toothbrush and by pectorals feel like somebody took a sledge hammer to them.  Wow! I have never felt like this.  The morning’s drive to the gym was about all I could handle, who knew steering and stopping used so many muscles. Jessie was impatient with me insisting that my moans and grunt were bothering some of the other gym members. I like them a little feisty so it didn’t really bother me they way she yelled and scolded me throughout the workout.

Thursday:  Jessica is really not my type. Nor do I think this workout stuff is for me.  I walk like I have a stick up my butt and all my aches from yesterday are even worse today, if you can imagine such a thing.

Friday:  What once started out as potential is now becoming violent.  Whatever her name is, was yelling at me to do just one more rep. All I could do was picture smashing her with a couple of weights. I would do it if I could lift one.  Her perfect little physic in her spandex pants is disgusting.   She looks anemic, anorexic and has lost all attractiveness to me.

Saturday: That woman had the nerve to leave me a message today on my answering machine.  Doesn’t she know it is Saturday? Of course I am not coming in.  She can keep the money.   I would have thrown the answering machine but I lack the ability to even use the remote and I have been stuck here for 1 day listening to the Weather Channel.

Ok let’s set aside all Joking and get down to the real business of change.  Here are 3 simple steps to remember when setting your new years resolutions

1.  You’re not a goose!

What does that mean?  It means that every year you do not have to fly south.  Humans do have the ability to make decisions and change their lives around in a matter of seconds. My grandpa smoked for 60 years and one day he thought he was going to die so he quite cold. One day he smoked the next day he didn’t.  There was no patch or therapy.  It was a one person who decided to change and he did it.  It was pretty crazy and inspiring at the same time.

2.  Make Small and Simple Changes!

Have you ever heard of the quote “By small and simple things great things are brought to pass?